Older Mothers favour one child, always

Similarities in personal values and beliefs between an adult child and an older mother is what keeps that child in favor over the long-term, and that preference can have practical applications for mother's long-term care, according to a Purdue University study.

Jill Suitor

"Favouritism matters because it affects adult sibling relationships and caregiving patterns and outcomes for mothers, and now we know that who a mother favours is not likely to change," said Jill Suitor, professor of sociology, who has been studying older parent relationships with adult children for nearly 30 years.

"Knowing that favoritism, particularly regarding caregiving, is relatively stable will be helpful for practitioners when designing arrangements that are going to work best for moms."

Approximately three-quarters of the mothers identified that the child who they favored as their preferred caregiver at the start of the study was the same child they favoured seven years later.

Megan Gilligan

"One of the biggest predictors of who remained the favourite was mother's perception of similarity between herself and her child," said Megan Gilligan, an assistant professor in human development and family studies at Iowa State University and a former Purdue graduate student who is a collaborator on the project.

"Mothers were likely to continue to prefer children who they perceived were similar to them in their beliefs and values, as well as to prefer children who had cared for them before."

Their research, co-authored with Karl Pillemer, professor of human development in the College of Human Ecology at Cornell University, is published in the Journal of Marriage and Family.

The findings are based on the Within-Family Differences Study in which data were collected seven years apart from the same 406 mothers, ages 65-75. The study is funded by the National Institute on Aging.

Karl Pillemer

Gender similarity also was a consistent factor to show long-term favoritism, which is not surprising because the mother-daughter connection has been shown in previous research to typically be the strongest, closest and most supportive parent-child relationship.

In addition to looking at the similarity of personal values, the researchers also looked at whether a child's financial independence, adult roles as a spouse or parent themselves, consistent employment, and lawful behaviour influenced which child remained the favorite.

What was surprising is that whether a child was married, divorced or achieved independence, mattered much less than sharing personal values, said Suitor, who is a member of the Center on Aging and the Life Course.

"These mothers are saying that if I can't make my own decisions involving my life than who can best make these decisions for me? Who thinks like I do?" Suitor said.

"Who has the same vision in life that I do, has a pretty good sense of what I would do? This is incredibly important with issues related to caregiving, and that is why understanding these family dynamics is so important."

While the importance similarity played in explaining why a mother's favorite child remained the same across the study, it was much harder to identify what drove changes when a child fell out of favour.

"One of the few predictors of changes was when children stopped engaging in deviant behaviours, such as substance abuse, during the seven years, and then their mothers were more likely to choose them as the children to whom they were most emotionally close," Gilligan said.

Suitor said, "This is an interesting change because if a child engaged in deviant behaviours seven years ago but then stopped they were even more likely to be chosen than were siblings who never engaged in deviant behaviours."

Suitor, Pillemer and Gilligan are planning to extend the Within-Family Differences Study to include interviewing the Baby Boomers about their own adult children.

More information: Continuity and Change in Mothers' Favoritism Toward Offspring in Adulthood, J. Jill Suitor, Megan Gilligan, Karl Pillemer, Journal of Marriage and Family, 2013.

Sibling Rivalry: Children are stressed when fathers play favourites

Research by Megan Gilligan, a Purdue doctoral student in sociology, and Jill Suitor, a professor of sociology, found that sibling Baby Boomers are likely to be more stressed by their fathers' favouring one over another than by their mothers' doing so. 

Credit: Purdue University photo /Mark Simons

"It didn't matter who fathers favored. When favouritism was perceived there was tension among siblings, especially daughters," said Megan Gilligan, a Purdue doctoral student in sociology who is lead author on the article.

"Often the role of fathers is overlooked in these older relationships, but what we found shows dads do matter."

This research, which is published in the July issue of the Journal of Gerontology, Series B: Psychological Sciences and Social Sciences, looked at 137 later-life families with both parents still alive when the data was collected in 2008.

The average age of the 341 siblings was 49, and they were asked about tension among each other and the perceived favouritism by their parents.

The parents were in their 70s and 80s, and the fathers were an average of three years older than the mothers.

"The importance of fathers' favouritism may come from these older adults noticing many of their friends' fathers no longer living, so they may value their dads even more than before; they realise their time together is limited," said Jill Suitor, a professor of sociology and article co-author.

Previous research by Suitor, Gilligan and Karl Pillemer, professor of human development in the College of Human Ecology at Cornell University, showed that if mothers favoured a child, it caused sibling tension.

However, that work focused only on mothers' favouritism. By looking at both living parents in this recent article, the researchers were able to evaluate the consequences of favouritism from both parents.

This research is based on the survey data from the Within-Family Difference Study, led by Suitor and Pillemer to evaluate the role favoritism plays in adult family relationships.

The data for the 13-year project were collected in the Boston metropolitan area. The project is funded by the US National Institute on Aging.

"The implications of these findings will be important to practitioners," Pillemer said. "We often think of the family as a single unit, and this reminds us that individual parent and child relationships differ and each family is very complex. Favouritism from the father could mean something different than favouritism from the mother. We suggest that clinicians who work with families on later-life issues be aware of this complexity and look for such types of individual relationships as they advise families on care giving, legal and financial issues."

The difference in this research could be the result of the role fathers played in this older generation.

"Fathers are important figures in families, and the father-child relationship is sometimes more tenuous than the mother-child tie," Suitor said.

"Mothers are often more open and affectionate with their children, whereas fathers have sometimes been found to be more critical, leading offspring to be more concerned when fathers favour some children over others."

This also could play a role in why daughters experience more tension with their siblings when fathers favour them.

"The gender difference may occur because fathers, as other studies have shown, often invest more in their sons, thus, the favouritism shown toward daughters may violate these norms and result in greater sibling tension," Gilligan said.

"For these reasons, when adult children perceive their fathers as engaging in favouritism, there may be greater concern about competition for his affection and support, resulting in higher levels of sibling tension."

Gilligan and Suitor also said that these values and norms may have changed since the Baby Boomer generation.

Suitor, Pillemer and Gilligan plan to extend the present project to include interviewing the Baby Boomers about their own adult children.

More information: Differential Effects of Perceptions of Mothers' and Fathers' Favoritism on Sibling Tension in Adulthood, Megan Gilligan, J. Jill Suitor, Seoyoun Kim, and Karl Pillemer, Journal of Gerontology, Series B: Psychological Sciences and Social Sciences, 2013.

ABSTRACT
Objectives. We examine the differential effects of perceived maternal and paternal favouritism in adulthood on sibling tensions in adulthood.

Method. Data used in the analysis were collected from 341 adult children nested within 137 later-life families as part of the Within-Family Differences Study.

Results. Adult children's perceptions that their fathers currently favored any offspring in the family predicted reports of tension with their siblings, whereas perceptions of mothers' favouritism did not. Fathers' favouritism was a stronger predictor of daughters' than sons' reports of sibling tension.

Discussion. These findings contribute to a growing body of research demonstrating the consequences of parental favouritism in adulthood. Equally important, they demonstrate that perceptions of fathers' current favouritism plays an even greater role in shaping their adult children's sibling relations than do mothers' favouritism.

Autism Risk: Exposure to high pollution levels during pregnancy

Women in the U.S. exposed to high levels of air pollution while pregnant were up to twice as likely to have a child with autism as women who lived in areas with low pollution, according to a new study from Harvard School of Public Health (HSPH).

It is the first large national study to examine links between autism and air pollution across the U.S.

Andrea Roberts

"Our findings raise concerns since, depending on the pollutant, 20% to 60% of the women in our study lived in areas where risk of autism was elevated," said lead author Andrea Roberts, research associate in the HSPH Department of Social and Behavioral Sciences.

The study appeared online June 18, 2013 in Environmental Health Perspectives.

Exposure to diesel particulates, lead, manganese, mercury, methylene chloride and other pollutants are known to affect brain function and to affect the developing baby.

Two previous studies found associations between exposure to air pollution during pregnancy and autism in children, but those studies looked at data in just three locations in the U.S.

The researchers examined data from Nurses' Health Study II, a long-term study based at Brigham and Women's Hospital involving 116,430 nurses that began in 1989.

Among that group, the authors studied 325 women who had a child with autism and 22,000 women who had a child without the disorder.

They looked at associations between autism and levels of pollutants at the time and place of birth. They used air pollution data from the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency to estimate women's exposure to pollutants while pregnant.

They also adjusted for the influence of factors such as income, education, and smoking during pregnancy.

The results showed that women who lived in the 20% of locations with the highest levels of diesel particulates or mercury in the air were twice as likely to have a child with autism as those who lived in the 20% of areas with the lowest levels.

Other types of air pollution—lead, manganese, methylene chloride, and combined metal exposure—were associated with higher autism risk as well.

Women who lived in the 20% of locations with the highest levels of these pollutants were about 50% more likely to have a child with autism than those who lived in the 20% of areas with the lowest concentrations.

Most pollutants were associated with autism more strongly in boys than girls. However, since there were few girls with autism in the study, the authors said this finding should be examined further.

Marc Weisskopf

Senior author Marc Weisskopf, associate professor of environmental and occupational epidemiology at HSPH, said, "Our results suggest that new studies should begin the process of measuring metals and other pollutants in the blood of pregnant women or newborn children to provide stronger evidence that specific pollutants increase risk of autism. A better understanding of this can help to develop interventions to reduce pregnant women's exposure to these pollutants."

Fathers who bond with children help keep Partner's Relationship /Marriage strong

Sharing housework is the key, as is open communication with your spouse and /or partner.

For dads aiming at marital bliss, a new study suggests just two factors are especially important: being engaged with the kids, for sure—but also doing a fair share of the household chores.

In other words, just taking the children outside for a game of catch won't cut it.

"In our study, the wives thought that the father's involvement with the kids and his participation in household work, are all inter-related and worked together to improve marital quality," said Adam Galovan, lead author of the study and a researcher at the University of Missouri, in Columbia.

"They think that being a good father involves more than just doing things involved in the care of children."

Adam Galovan

Galovan found that wives and partners, feel more cared for when husbands are involved with their children, yet helping out with the day-to-day responsibilities of running the household also matters.

But Galovan was surprised to find that, how husbands and wives divide the work, doesn't seem to matter much.

Partners, husbands and wives are happier when they share parenting and household responsibilities, but the chores don't have to be divided equally, according to the study.

What matters is that both parents are actively participating in both chores and child-rearing.

Doing household chores and being engaged with the children seem to be important ways for husbands to connect with their partners, and that connection is related to better relationships, Galovan explained.

The research was recently published in the Journal of Family Issues it can also be found on the MU News site.

For the study, the researchers tapped data from a 2005 study that pulled marriage licenses of couples married for less than one year from the Utah Department of Health.

Researchers looked at every third or fourth marriage license over a six-month period.

Couples indicated which spouse was generally responsible for completing 20 common household tasks— or if both or neither of them were responsible.

Fathers rated their involvement in their children's lives and mothers noted how involved they felt their husbands were with the kids. Both spouses rated how happy they were with how they divided household tasks and with their marriage.

Men and women differed in how they reported marital quality. For wives, the father-child relationship and father involvement was most important, followed by satisfaction with how the household work was accomplished.

For husbands, satisfaction with the division of family work came first, followed by their wife's feelings about the father-child relationship, and then the degree of involvement the dad had with his children.

Why Finnish babies mostly sleep in cardboard boxes

For 75 years, Finland’s expectant mothers have been given a box by the state.

It’s like a starter kit of clothes, sheets and toys that can even be used as a bed, and some say it helped Finland achieve one of the world’s lowest infant mortality rates.

It’s a tradition that dates back to the 1930s and it’s designed to give all children in Finland, no matter what background they’re from, an equal start in life.

The maternity package – a gift from the government – is available to all expectant mothers.

It contains bodysuits, a sleeping bag, outdoor gear, bathing products for the baby, as well as nappies, bedding and a small mattress.

With the mattress in the bottom, the box becomes a baby’s first bed. Many children, from all social backgrounds, have their first naps within the safety of the box’s four cardboard walls.

Mothers have a choice between taking the box, or a cash grant, currently set at 140 euros, but 95% opt for the box as it’s worth much more.

The tradition dates back to 1938. To begin with, the scheme was only available to families on low incomes, but that changed in 1949.

Heidi Liesivesi

“Not only was it offered to all mothers-to-be but new legislation meant to get the grant, or maternity box, they had to visit a doctor or municipal pre-natal clinic before their fourth month of pregnancy,” says Heidi Liesivesi, who works at Kela – the Social Insurance Institution of Finland.

So the box provided mothers with what they needed to look after their baby, but it also helped steer pregnant women into the arms of the doctors and nurses of Finland’s nascent welfare state.

In the 1930s Finland was a poor country and infant mortality was high – 65 out of 1,000 babies died. But the figures improved rapidly in the decades that followed.

Mika Gissler, a professor at the National Institute for Health and Welfare in Helsinki, gives several reasons for this – the maternity box and pre-natal care for all women in the 1940s, followed in the 60s by a national health insurance system and the central hospital network.

• Mattress, mattress cover, undersheet, duvet cover, blanket, sleeping bag/quilt
• Box itself doubles as a crib
• Snowsuit, hat, insulated mittens and booties
• Light hooded suit and knitted overalls
• Socks and mittens, knitted hat and balaclava
• Bodysuits, romper suits and leggings in unisex colours and patterns
• Hooded bath towel, nail scissors, hairbrush, toothbrush, bath thermometer, nappy cream, wash cloth
• Cloth nappy set and muslin squares
• Picture book and teething toy
• Bra pads, condoms
• At 75 years old, the box is now an established part of the Finnish rite of passage towards motherhood, uniting generations of women.

Reija Klemetti

Reija Klemetti, a 49-year-old from Helsinki, remembers going to the post office to collect a box for one of her six children.

“It was lovely and exciting to get it and somehow the first promise to the baby,” she says. “My mum, friends and relatives were all eager to see what kind of things were inside and what colours they’d chosen for that year.”

Her mother-in-law, aged 78, relied heavily on the box when she had the first of her four children in the 60s. At that point she had little idea what she would need, but it was all provided.

More recently, Klemetti’s daughter Solja, aged 23, shared the sense of excitement that her mother had once experienced, when she took possession of the “first substantial thing” prior to the baby itself. She now has two young children.

“It’s easy to know what year babies were born in, because the clothing in the box changes a little every year. It’s nice to compare and think, ‘Ah that kid was born in the same year as mine’,” says Titta Vayrynen, a 35-year-old mother with two young boys.

For some families, the contents of the box would be unaffordable if they were not free of charge, though for Vayrynen, it was more a question of saving time than money.

She was working long hours when pregnant with her first child, and was glad to be spared the effort of comparing prices and going out shopping.

“There was a recent report saying that Finnish mums are the happiest in the world, and the box was one thing that came to my mind. We are very well taken care of, even now when some public services have been cut down a little,” she says.

When she had her second boy, Ilmari, Vayrynen opted for the cash grant instead of the box and just re-used the clothes worn by her first, Aarni.

A boy can pass on clothes to a girl too, and vice versa, because the colours are deliberately gender-neutral.

The contents of the box have changed a good deal over the years, reflecting changing times.

During the 30s and 40s, it contained fabric because mothers were accustomed to making the baby’s clothes.

But during World War II, flannel and plain-weave cotton were needed by the Defence Ministry, so some of the material was replaced by paper bed sheets and swaddling cloth.

The 50s saw an increase in the number of ready-made clothes, and in the 60s and 70s these began to be made from new stretchy fabrics.

In 1968 a sleeping bag appeared, and the following year disposable nappies featured for the first time.

Not for long. At the turn of the century, the cloth nappies were back in and the disposable variety were out, having fallen out of favour on environmental grounds.

Encouraging good parenting has been part of the maternity box policy all along.

“Babies used to sleep in the same bed as their parents and it was recommended that they stop,” says Panu Pulma, professor in Finnish and Nordic History at the University of Helsinki. “Including the box as a bed meant people started to let their babies sleep separately from them.”

At a certain point, baby bottles and dummies were removed to promote breastfeeding.

“One of the main goals of the whole system was to get women to breastfeed more,” Pulma says. And, he adds, “It’s happened.”

He also thinks including a picture book has had a positive effect, encouraging children to handle books, and, one day, to read.

And in addition to all this, Pulma says, the box is a symbol. A symbol of the idea of equality, and of the importance of children.

Why Some Fathers Are raising the Baby - report

A century old mystery as to why, for some animals, it's the father rather than the mother that takes care of their young has been cracked by researchers at the University of Sheffield.

Experts from the University, in collaboration with the University of Bath and Veszprém (Hungary) found that role reversal was caused by an imbalance in the numbers of males relative to females.

The findings have been published in the journal Nature Communications. Darwin noted in 1871 that in most animals, it is the females that spend most time looking after the young, whilst males focus on competing with each other for females.

Evolutionary biologists argued that this was due to the female investing significant amounts of energy in producing eggs, and in the case of mammals, giving birth, and so it is in their interests to ensure their offspring's survival by caring for them.

However, in some species, such as seahorses, the sex roles are reversed where the females produce the eggs but then leave it to their male mates to care for their offspring.

Dr András Liker, Marie Curie Research Fellow from the University of Sheffield's Department of Animal and Plant Sciences, said: "Sex-role reversal has been a formidable puzzle for evolutionary biologists ever since Darwin. Our study is the first supporting the idea that sex ratio plays an important part in the evolution of role reversal."

The researchers studied birds where the sex roles were reversed and found there was a higher ratio of males to females in the population, compared with the usual situation where females care for offspring.

Professor Tamás Székely, Professor of Biodiversity at the University of Bath, explained: "The research group has investigated sex role reversal for over 20 years, and was extremely pleasing to see such a clear cut result.

"Mathematical models suggest that these animals' behaviour is strongly influenced by their social environment, and our findings support these predictions.

"When there are lots of males in a population, it's harder to find females, so it benefits males to stay with their mate and look after the young.

"However, the females often take advantage of this and leave the male holding the baby, whilst they go and find another mate."

Females in the sex role reversed species also take on the traditional male role of being bigger and compete with each other for males.

The role reversal isn't usually seen in mammals: since males can't produce milk it's not as easy for them to take over the parenting completely.

However changes in sex role behaviour have been observed in humans when the sex ratio is imbalanced.

The above story is reprinted from materials provided by University of Sheffield.

Mothers should trust their Judgement

Richard Selznick, Ph.D, sends a message to moms to trust their judgment in thinking if children should be evaluated by a professional in the early learning stages.

For a book trailer, demo reel or promotional video from Annie Jennings PR, visit: anniejenningspr.com/book_trailer.htm

Babies Absorb Sounds and Languages Traits in the Womb

Babies only hours old are able to differentiate between sounds from their native language and a foreign language, scientists have discovered.

The study indicates that babies begin absorbing language while still in the womb, earlier than previously thought.

Sensory and brain mechanisms for hearing are developed at 30 weeks of gestational age, and the new study shows that unborn babies are listening to their mothers talk during the last 10 weeks of pregnancy and at birth can demonstrate what they've heard.

"The mother has first dibs on influencing the child's brain," said Patricia Kuhl, co-author and co-director of the Institute for Learning and Brain Sciences at the University of Washington.

"The vowel sounds in the mother's speech are the loudest units and the fetus locks onto them."

Previously, researchers had shown that newborns are born ready to learn and begin to discriminate between language sounds within the first months of life, but there was no evidence that language learning had occurred in utero.

"This is the first study that shows fetuses learn prenatally about the particular speech sounds of a mother's language," said Christine Moon, lead author and a professor of psychology at Pacific Lutheran University in Tacoma, Wash.

"This study moves the measurable result of experience with speech sounds from six months of age to before birth."

The results will be published in an upcoming issue of the journal Acta Paediatrica. Forty infants, about 30 hours old and an even mix of girls and boys, were studied in Tacoma and Stockholm, Sweden.

While still in the nursery, the babies listened to vowel sounds in their native tongue and in foreign languages.

Their interest in the sounds was captured by how long they sucked on a pacifier that was wired into a computer measuring the babies' reaction to the sounds.

Longer or shorter sucking for unfamiliar or familiar sounds is evidence for learning, because it indicates that infants can differentiate between the sounds heard in utero.

In both countries, the babies at birth sucked longer for the foreign language than they did for their native tongue.

The researchers say that infants are the best learners, and discovering how they soak up information could give insights on lifelong learning.

"We want to know what magic they put to work in early childhood that adults cannot," Kuhl said. "We can't waste that early curiosity."

Is Baby's health tied to Mother's Family Values?

The value that an expectant mother places on family -- regardless of the reality of her own family situation -- predicts the birthweight of her baby and whether the child will develop asthma symptoms three years later, according to new research from USC.

The findings suggest that one's culture is a resource that can provide tangible physical health benefits.

"We know that social support has profound health implications; yet, in this case, this is more a story of beliefs than of actual family support," said Cleopatra Abdou, assistant professor at the USC Davis School of Gerontology (Geriatrics).

Abdou studied 4,633 socioeconomically disadvantaged white, black and Hispanic women, gauging their "familism," or, more specifically, their beliefs about familial roles and responsibilities, using a questionnaire.

Sociological Definition: Familism is a social structure where the needs of the family are more important and take precedence over the needs of any of the family members.

Familism was determined by responses to statements such as, "Single moms can do just as well as married parents," or "It is better for children if their parents are married."

Abdou then tracked the health of their children and found that, for every one-point increase in familism, there was a 71-gram increase in birthweight independent of a whole host of other factors -- including the gender of the infant or whether the mother was married.

NB: The average birthweight in the U.S. is around 7.5 pounds, or roughly 3,400 grams. Low birthweight, typically defined as under 5.5 pounds or 2,500 grams, has been linked to health problems later in life.

Higher familism can also predict lower rates of asthma in children up to three years later.

Though one might expect to see healthier children from mothers who reported strong family support, familism is a cultural measure that exists outside of an individual's actual circumstances.

"Cultural beliefs and ideals can be distinct from one's present reality. Familism is about beliefs and ideals within families. That's why familism is referred to as a cultural resource. The cultural resource of familism appears to favorably impact both reproductive health in mothers as well as critical markers of physical health in offspring. That is, the transmission of health from one generation to another," Abdou said.

Abdou's findings were published online on Nov. 9 in the journal Social Science & Medicine, in an article coauthored by Tyan Parker Dominguez of USC and Hector F. Myers of UCLA.

The results may shed light on the so-called "Hispanic Paradox" or "epidemiologic paradox," first documented in 1986 by Markides and Coreil, which found that immigrant populations in the United States tend to be relatively healthy compared to their peers, despite being poorer and contained in a lower class order.

In general, poorer populations tend to be less healthy than wealthier ones. The epidemiologic paradox diminishes over time, with immigrant populations becoming less and less healthy as they start assimilating into American culture.

Abdou theorizes that U.S.-born populations, in addition to immigrant populations, can benefit in terms of mental and physical health from strong cultural resources, a theory that is supported by this study.

Abdou's work continues to probe the connections between health and culture in diverse populations in the United States and the Middle East.

Breastfeeding is associated with a Healthy Gut

Early colonization of the gut by microbes in infants is critical for development of their intestinal tract and in immune development.

A new study, published in BioMed Central’s open access journal Genome Biology, shows that differences in bacterial colonization of formula-fed and breast-fed babies leads to changes in the infant’s expression of genes involved in the immune system, and in defense against pathogens.

The health of individuals can be influenced by the diversity of microbes colonizing the gut, and microbial colonization can be especially important in regulating both intestinal and immune development in infants. However, little is known about the potential interactions between the host’s health at a molecular level, their gut microbes, and diet.

The human intestine is lined by epithelial cells that process nutrients and provide the first line of defense against food antigens and pathogens. Approximately one-sixth of intestinal epithelial cells are shed every day into feces, providing a non-invasive picture of what is going on inside the gut.

In this study, the authors used transcriptome analysis to compare the intestines of three month old exclusively breast-fed or formula-fed infants, and relate this to their gut microbes.

Transcriptome analysis looks at the small percentage of the genetic code that is transcribed into RNA molecules and is a measure of what genes are actively making proteins. Concurrently the microbes (microbiome) were identified by genetic analysis.

The results showed that the breast-fed babies had a wider range of microbes in their gut than the formula-fed infants but that their immune systems had developed to cope.

Robert Chapkin from the Texas A&M University, who led this multi-centre study, explained, “While we found that the microbiome of breast-fed infants is significantly enriched in genes associated with ‘virulence’, including resistance to antibiotics and toxic compounds, we also found a correlation between bacterial pathogenicity and the expression of host genes associated with immune and defense mechanisms.”

He continued, “Our findings suggest that human milk promotes the beneficial crosstalk between the immune system and microbe population in the gut, and maintains intestinal stability.”

10 Things that New Mothers should know

Unfortunately, no matter how many books you read or how prepared you feel you may be, babies have their own special way of being and you have to adapt to it.

From your breastfeeding troubles and postpartum bleeding to baby’s colic and indecipherable crying. Here are some young mothers' most unexpected, unforgettable moments as a new parent.

Breastfeeding isn’t always easy.
If you’re not getting the hang of breastfeeding right away, don’t beat yourself up. Despite what you may have heard, it doesn’t always come so naturally.

Whether baby’s not latching right or you can’t seem to boost your milk supply, there are a number of potential frustrations and they’re all totally normal.

Don;t give up! Make sure you’ve read up on possible solutions to your breastfeeding problems; you may find that a small change to your routine is a real lifesaver.

It’s also important to realize that you’re not alone. First, talk to a health professional. Failing that chat with other new mamas or join a support group.

Most newborn clothes will go to waste.
Yep, despite all the sleep deprivation and constant exhaustion, those first couple months sure do fly by.

The likelihood that baby will get a decent run out of every newborn outfit in his closet is pretty slim.

So don’t go crazy registering for or buying up tons of adorable outfits in newborn sizes and whatever you do, don’t go nuts with newborn shoes either, cute as they are.

Baby will likely spend a lot of those first three months in and out of romper suits instead of fancy outfits, and you’ll be changing him so much, thanks to spit-up and diaper mishaps that most of them will hardly see the light of day.

Newborns poops are noisy and messy.
Noisy, smelly, and yes, sometimes explosive, newborn poops are certainly not for the weak-stomached.

Something else to keep in mind is that Baby’s poop will be pretty liquidy in that newborn stage, meaning it won’t take much to send it flying. Always carry wipes and a change of baby clothes.

Going back to work is hard.
Heading back to work is rough on every mother and missing your baby when you’re away can be overwhelming.

Before you head back to work, make sure you set up a childcare situation that makes you 100 percent comfortable, whether it’s a live-in nanny, a daycare system, or a friend or relative.

Then do what you can to stay in the loop during the day by asking your nanny to give you certain updates or calling the daycare periodically to check in.

Keeping the lines of communication open will make you feel less disconnected from baby.

"Getting to know and like" baby can take a while.
It’s totally normal to have a hard time adjusting to motherhood at first, not everything comes naturally and not everyone snaps into “mom mode” the second after they give birth.

Same goes for feeling that instant connection to baby. Give yourself a break, and remember your body is going through a lot of hormonal shifts after delivery that will eventually pass.

But do remember that if the feelings don’t go away, or if they’re too difficult to handle on your own, talk to a health professional who will help you get to the root of the problem.

You will bleed postpartum.
We know, donning those life-raft-sized pads in the weeks after delivery is no picnic for anyone, but at least you can take comfort in the fact that they’re only temporary.

Your bleeding should last only for a few days max and if it doesn’t, contact your doctor. After that, it may change to a discharge that will last up to several weeks.

You won’t have time for anything else.
While having a baby definitely uses most of your “me” time in the beginning, but you need to be able to set up a system with your partner or relatives, for doing things like basic chores and running errands.

Try devising a plan of attack well before baby arrives and vowing to stick to it as much as possible. Sure, it may be easier said than done before baby comes, but you need to make sure that some semblance of routine is kept up, if only to maintain your relationship with your partner and your own sanity.

You won’t always know what your baby's cry means.
It’s definitely frustrating and emotional when you feel like you’ve tried everything to calm baby and nothing works.

The good news is that you can be taught by a health professional and you’ll eventually come to learn exactly what baby wants the more time you spend with her.

Pay attention to the way the baby cries. A low-pitched cry often means she’s hungry, whereas a high-pitched one means she might be in pain, especially if she draws her knees up at the same time.

If her cries build in intensity, she may be tired and if she’s just plain bored, her cry may sound like a passing whimper.

Baby may have sleeping problems.
It can take a few weeks for baby to sort out the difference between night and day. If it continues too long then your health and your relationship with your partner will suffer. Seek advice as early as possible.

Take baby outside for at least an hour each day, the new experiences will stimulate her. Then, at nighttime, prior to going to bed, avoid any stimulation at all, no light, no singing, and no talking.

Sleep is a specialist subject and for more key information on sleep issues and their resolution contact Deirdre at Dream-Angus

Colic is a nightmare.
The dreaded colic (or reflux) affects up to 25 percent of infants. Several reasons can cause this and in most cases these have to be determined by a health professional.

Some colic /reflux goes un-diagnosed and is put down to a 'grumbling' baby or one that doesn't sleep but experienced health support professionals should be able to detect it.

Contact Deirdre at Dream-Angus for more information on Colic /Reflux, as well as breast-feeding, sleep and feeding.

Autism: Link Found In Gene Mutations From Father

The number of Americans diagnosed with autism has skyrocketed since 2002. Now it affects every one in 88 children.

One of the biggest barriers to finding an effective treatment is that the cause of autism isn't known but biotechnology advances are shedding new light on the possible role of genetics.

"Ten years ago it was as if we were looking through binoculars, when we were looking at autism through a microscope, and now it's like looking at it in high definition," Andy Shih, vice president of scientific affairs for the advocacy group Autism Speaks, reported.

Now three separate studies, all published on Thursday in the journal Nature, have identified several gene mutations, many inherited from fathers, that may play a role.

"There's no one gene that causes autism," James Sutcliffe, co-author of one study and an associate professor of molecular physiology at Vanderbilt University stated.

"But what these studies do show is that several genetic mutations increase the risk of getting autism and different mutations may affect people in a different way."

The genes are likely inherited through the paternal line because as a man ages, his sperm cells are constantly dividing, which provides more opportunity for mutations to occur.

Women, on the other hand, are born with all of the egg cells they will have for life.

Each study found multitudes of mutated genes in autistic children but among the three, only two genes were found in more than one patient, suggesting to researchers that they may be the biggest risk factors.


"That is like throwing a dart at a dart board with 21,000 spots and hitting the same one twice," Dr. Matthew State, co-author of the second study and a professor of psychiatry at the Child Study Centre, Yale, told reporters. "The chances that this gene is related to autism risk are something like 99.9999 percent."


Some Opposition
Clearly, some researchers aren't considering this the breakthrough the study authors claim.

"This is a great beginning, and I'm impressed with the work, but we don't know the cause of these rare mutations, or even their levels in the general population," Aravinda Chakravarti, researcher at the John Hopkins Institute of Genetic Medicine, replied.

"I'm not saying it's not worth it to follow up these findings, but I am saying it's going to be a hard slog."

Approximately 15 percent of all autistic children will have some form of these genetic mutations, according to one of the studies but researchers said diagnosing autism by the gene mutations is still a long way off.

"The genes highlighted are clearly the most convincing susceptibility genes that have been identified so far, but they only explain a small picture of autism," Dr. Mark Daly, coauthor of Sutcliffe's study and chief of the Analytic and Translational Genetics Unit (ATGU) at Massachusetts General Hospital, reported.

Future research will focus on identifying other mutations that could play a role, researchers said.

Going Forward
"Now we have a real path forward," State said. "As you start to accumulate these individual genes that you know are related, that opens the door to understanding the biology. Once you know the gene, you can examine the protein it makes. Then, even in people who don't have the damaged gene, adding that protein may help because a deficit in that protein might result in their autism via a different pathway."

Autism: France's treatment 'shame' - The Mother's at Fault!

In many countries, the standard way of treating autistic children is with behavioural therapy, stimulating and rewarding them to develop the skills they need to function in society, but France still puts its faith in psychoanalysis, and an increasing number of parents are now demanding change.

For autism campaigners, it is one of the most serious health scandals of our times.

How for decades France turned its back on the latest scientific thinking, and treated autism as a form of psychosis.

How, as a result, tens of thousands of children were misdiagnosed, or worse, not diagnosed at all, and consigned to lives of misery.

And how, to this day, in its approach to autism, the French medical establishment continues to believe in the powers of psychiatry and psychoanalysis, long after the rest of the world has switched to alternative methods of treatment.

"It is an out-and-out disgrace," according to Daniel Fasquelle, a member of parliament who campaigns on the issue.

"Every day I am contacted by parents with the same story, how their child's autism was not detected in time, so they never had the treatment that they needed.

"Thousands of children could have been saved. They do it everywhere else. Why not here? It is France's shame."

The row over autism in France has festered unreported for years but recently it has become public.

Independent associations have been created, lobbying for a move away from psychoanalysis and psychiatry, and over to the "behaviourist" treatments that prevail elsewhere.

In early March, these groups scored an important victory - with a ruling from the health ministry that calls into question the use of psychoanalysis as a treatment for autism.

But the psychoanalysts are not taking it lying down. From their point of view, behaviourism is a form of superficial social conditioning that does not address root causes and they resent the way they have been typecast as the villains of the piece, when their aims are as sincere as those of their opponents.

"One thing that never pays in the field of autism is triumphalism," said Lauriane Brunessaux, a child psychiatrist. "Autism is far too complex, and we understand it so badly.

"Today it is the behaviourists who are being triumphalist."

The behaviourist approach to autism was developed in the 1970s and 80s in the US and Canada, and it is now the norm in most of the world.

Under the so-called ABA method (Applied Behavioural Analysis), autism is treated as primarily an educational, rather than a medical, problem.

With a set of rewards (which can be granted or withheld) and with plenty of individual attention, children can learn to function in society, and be much less of a burden on their families.

"If you diagnose early, and then give the right treatment between the ages of two and seven, 70% of autistic children can acquire functional language skills. Here in France, we are way off that figure," says Fasquelle.

"And the same pattern continues later in life. In the UK, there are 17 times more university students with autism than in France. It is unacceptable."

Fasquelle and autism associations argue that the blame lies with a medical establishment that remains fixated with Freud.

"Today everyone knows that autism is a neuro-developmental problem. It is not a psychosis or mental disorder," says Muhamed Sajidi, president of the association Conquer Autism.

"But in France it is the psychiatrists, heavily influenced by Freudian psychoanalysis, who remain in charge and they have shut themselves off from all the changes in our knowledge of autism."

Sajidi set up the association after his life was "destroyed", as he puts it, by the medical establishment's failure to diagnose his son Sami's autism.

For him, as for many others, one of the worst aspects is how blame for autism has been laid at the door of the child's parents, and more especially of the mother.

"The first time I went to see a doctor when my (autistic) son Gael was three and we thought there was a problem, the psychiatrist asked me if I had wanted him - if it had been a wanted pregnancy!" says Candy Lepenuizic, a British woman married to a Frenchman.

"Then she asked what sort of dreams I had had while I was pregnant with him. And suggested the whole family have a course of psychotherapy.

"At that point I got up and walked out. It was only because I had been warned this might happen that I did not burst into tears."

Such horror stories are typical in French families of autistic children.

"The whole idea was that it was la faute à maman (the mother's fault). It was the 'refrigerator mum', or there was some problem with the family dynamic," says Lepenuizic.

"They thought that if the child was failing to communicate with the outside world, it was because of some trauma in the womb or in very early life. There was a family malfunction, and we had to cure it!"

Critics say this emphasis on psychoanalysis and relationships meant that autistic children were not spotted till far too late. And that, in turn, meant that their chances of effective treatment were sharply reduced.

Some 60% of autistic children in Sweden attend school, Sajidi says.

"Today only 20% of autistic children in France are in school, and often only part-time. The rest are either in psychiatric hospitals, or in medico-social centres, or living at home - or in Belgium," says Sajidi.

"Many families are sending their children to Belgium, where it is much easier to set up behaviourist treatment centres.

"Things are changing now, because parents are refusing to be taken for a ride by the professionals. But the real tragedy is with France's autistic adults, many of whom are in a state of total incomprehension or even self-mutilation.

"Seventy-five percent of families with autistic children end in divorce, and normally it is with the mother that the autistic person stays.

"Today these poor elderly women are looking after their adult children with no knowing what will happen when they die."

If Sajidi and other campaigners are beginning to feel the wind turn, it is because the health ministry is finally beginning to fund pilot schemes for behaviourist schools, as well as early diagnosis centres.

In its recent report, the ministry also effectively outlawed a practice known as "packing" where autistic children are wrapped in damp cloths in order to reconnect with their bodies. Campaigners say the treatment is both barbaric and ineffective.

The fundamental problem, campaigners argue, is that the psychiatric profession is resisting calls for change, because the fewer patients there are, the less they earn.

"They have a financial interest in institutionalising autistic children," says Sajidi.

Lepenezuic says: "The state pays. The child doesn't get any better - but who cares? It's being looked after by the state, and the doctors are making a lot of money. Why would they change the system?"

But on the other side of the fence, such charges are deeply resented.

Child psychiatrists like Lauriane Brunessaux believe that the associations have grossly distorted the debate, and are engaged in a battle to "discredit psychoanalysis and the whole notion of the unconscious".

Defenders of the French system argue that the situation was never as one-dimensional as the behaviourists have claimed.

First of all, they say, there have been plenty of success stories emanating from a psychoanalytical treatment of autism. They just have not been so loudly trumpeted.

Secondly, it is not as if the behaviourist approach is itself beyond criticism. In the US and Canada, argues Brunessaux, there have been studies that raise serious questions over its true scientific validity.

"The only real scientific reference for behaviourism is the electric shock experimentation on rats carried out by (US psychologist) Burrhus Skinner in the 1940s.

"Obviously the methods of reward and punishment today are totally different. But that is the background to behaviourism," she says.

For leading French psychoanalyst Eric Laurent, there is a deeper problem.

"Changing behaviour is one thing. But what do you do with the trouble that lies behind it? It is all very well to focus on the skills that can be transmitted via an intensive behaviourist approach, but that leaves a whole dimension out of the picture," he says.

As for the charge that psychoanalysts are responsible for family breakdown, Laurent is equally dismissive.

"The idea that you had to wait for psychoanalysts to come along for there to be hatred inside families is ridiculous. Hatred has always been there.

"Psychoanalysis is being used as a scapegoat - though we should not perhaps mind that, as being a scapegoat is part of the role of psychoanalysis," he says.

What angers people like Brunessaux and Laurent is that while on their side of the debate they are quite prepared to admit the effectiveness of behaviourism - as one of several possible approaches to autism - the behaviourists are dogmatically tied to their system and theirs alone.

Whoever is ultimately in the right, what the autism row perhaps shows most clearly is the changing nature of French society.

Once, families did what they were told. The state was ultimately benevolent, and had massive resources to dispense. If doctors chose institutionalisation, then who was to argue?

Today it is different. Thanks to the spread of knowledge, the internet, consumerism and the decline of the collective spirit - families for the first time feel emboldened to think, and act, for themselves.

Acetaminophen and Asthma

The sharp worldwide increase in childhood asthma over the past 30 years has long perplexed researchers, who have considered explanations as varied as improved hygiene and immunizations. Over the last decade, however, a new idea has emerged.

The asthma epidemic accelerated in the 1980s, some researchers have noted, about the same time that aspirin was linked to Reye’s syndrome in children. Doctors stopped giving aspirin to children with fevers, opting instead for acetaminophen.

In a paper published in The Annals of Allergy and Asthma Immunology in 1998, Dr. Arthur Varner, then a fellow in the immunology training program at the University of Wisconsin School of Medicine, argued that the switch to acetaminophen might have fueled the increase in asthma.

Since then, more than 20 studies have produced results in support of his theory, including a large analysis of data on more than 200,000 children that found an increased risk of asthma among children who had taken acetaminophen.


In November, Dr. John T. McBride, a pediatrician at Akron Children’s Hospital in Ohio, published a paper in the journal Pediatrics arguing that the evidence for a link between acetaminophen and asthma is now strong enough for doctors to recommend that infants and children who have asthma (or are at risk for the disease) avoid acetaminophen.

Dr. McBride based his assertion on several lines of evidence. In addition to the timing of the asthma epidemic, he said, there is now a plausible explanation for how acetaminophen might provoke or worsen asthma, a chronic inflammatory condition of the lungs.


Even a single dose of acetaminophen can reduce the body’s levels of glutathione, an enzyme that helps repair oxidative damage that can drive inflammation in the airways, researchers have found.

“Almost every study that’s looked for it has found a dose-response relationship between acetaminophen use and asthma,” Dr. McBride said. “The association is incredibly consistent across age, geography and culture.”

A statistical link between acetaminophen and asthma has turned up in studies of infants, children and adults. Studies have also found an increased risk of asthma in children whose mothers who took acetaminophen during pregnancy.


Read more of this article here

Mother’s antibody attack linked to autism

"Now we not only have a marker, but we are starting to understand the actual mechanisms of what causes autism. 

These findings can greatly enhance our understanding of the origins of some cases of autism and may directly lead to screening tests and treatments to prevent it," says Daniel B. Campbell, one of the study's principal investigators.

The research is the first to demonstrate a genetic mechanism at play in the development of autism, raising the possibility of a genetic test for women at risk, according to the study published online in the journal Translational Psychiatry.

“Our study gives strong support for the idea that, in at least some cases, autism results from maternal immunity gone overboard,” says Judy Van de Water, professor of internal medicine at the University of California, Davis, who is affiliated with the MIND Institute.

“This is the first time that a genetic factor known to be important in autism and its effects have been demonstrated.”

For the study, Van de Water and colleagues examined the action of the MET gene, which has a known association with autism, among 200 mothers of children with autism and 150 mothers of typically developing children enrolled in the Northern California-based Childhood Autism Risks from Genetics and the Environment (CHARGE) Study.

All of the study participants were between 2 and 5 years of age at the time of study enrollment, lived with one biological parent, and spoke either English or Spanish.

The researchers found that the C-allele of the MET gene is more common in mothers with several immunologic abnormalities that might contribute to the development of autism.  Analysis of the MET C-allele is a method of determining susceptibility for immune dysregulation in the mothers.

One abnormality they attributed to the MET C-allele is the presence of antibodies against fetal brain proteins in the blood of the mothers.

These brain-attacking antibodies occur in some mothers with an autistic child, but are not found in mothers of typically developing children.

It is believed that these antibodies somehow injure the developing brain of the fetus, and in some instances may cause autism.

Researchers do not yet know when or how the antibodies are formed, or precisely what happens to the brain tissue exposed to them, but based on a collaborative paper with Loren Martin at Azuza Pacific University, they appear to have pathologic significance, or a functional effect on brain development, changing the way the brain develops.

Van de Water and her group are still working on the precise effect of these maternal antibodies on the developing brain.

MET protein levels were also found to be reduced in cells from mothers with one C-allele and one normal allele, and were even lower in those with two C-alleles. Lower MET protein on the cell surface may increase susceptibility to a more intense and prolonged immune response when the cells are activated, like exposure to a bacteria or virus.

This, in turn, could make these individuals more prone to forming antibodies against “self” proteins, such as those found in the fetal brain.

When the shrieking child is your son - Real Families

A harrowing story from a mother who's son sufferers from Autism Asperger's syndrome. Unfortunately, it is a story many mothers will be all too familiar with. I have included it here to share her experiences with other mothers who are facing the same difficulties.

"My son has Asperger's syndrome. Most people have heard of it by now; even Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg is rumored to have it. I have my doubts, though. I see little resemblance between the billionaire genius and my 4-year-old son. I wonder if the Facebook founder had daily, explosive, irrational fits when he was 4. I wonder if his mother drank.

I first realize we have a problem when my son is 18 months old. My family tells me his screaming fits are just his way of "pressing my buttons." They say I'm spoiling him; that's why he throws tantrums when he doesn't get his way. But they can't explain his extreme negative reactions to large crowds and loud noises. Once when we're in a public restroom, the automatic toilet flushes, and my son throws himself against the door and begins beating on it in his desperation to get away. The lady in the next stall glares at me when she comes out. I know she thinks I was hitting him. Another time at church, the organist starts playing, and my son dives under the pew in front of him. The man beside us moves over, far over.

I think my little boy is just sensitive, until at age 3, he starts having bathroom issues. He holds it all in until his little tummy was bloated, and once he doesn't go for four days."

The article continues to describe how she takes her son from doctor to doctor with varying degrees of trauma and success. Read the remainder here

Childhood Obesity: Dads more likely than moms to impact

A father’s use of restaurants and his perceptions of family meals carry more weight, so to speak, than mothers’, according to a Texas AgriLife Research study, published recently in The Journal of Nutrition Education and Behavior.

“Dads who think that dinner time is a special family time certainly do not see a fast-food restaurant as an appropriate place for that special family time, so this means that his kids are spending less time in those places."

"Dads who have no trouble eating food in a fast-food restaurant are going to be more likely to have kids who do so,” said Dr. Alex McIntosh, AgriLife Research sociologist.

Childhood obesity study points to father’s role

New research indicates that father’s are more likely than mother’s to have an impact on childhood obesity. A study by Texas AgriLife Research showed that lenient fathers allow their children more trips to fast-food restaurants which have been linked to obesity in children. (Texas AgriLife Research photo by Kathleen Phillips)

The study began as a 15-month look at parents’ use of time and how that impacted meal choices. It aimed at the difference between fast-food and full-service restaurants because numerous studies have shown a correlation between fast-food consumption and weight gain.

Of particular interest for the research, funded by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, was parental choice of restaurants as a connection to childhood obesity, McIntosh said.

Almost as an afterthought, the researchers decided to ask children in these families also to record what they ate and whether it was at home or out. If a meal was eaten out, the name of the restaurant was not required.

“It never occurred to me that we would have data on them eating out and where they were eating out. But the kids — if they said they ate out, they always wrote down where they ate by the name of the restaurant,” McIntosh said. “So it was just a matter of tracking down information about the restaurant to find out if they were full-service or more like a fast-food place.”

Read more of this article here

PAS: Parental Alienation Ayndrome and Divorced parents

The American Psychiatric Association is contemplating adding something called "parental alienation syndrome" (PAS) to the new edition of the DSM, scheduled to be published in May 2013, and the question has launched a national lobbying in the US and letter-writing campaigns on both sides.

Angry letters and editorials should not play any part in a debate about mental health and custody disputes but the fact these are being listened to tells you most of what you need to know about the validity of PAS.

What is parental alienation syndrome? William Bernet, a professor of psychiatry at the Vanderbilt University School of Medicine and an advocate for its inclusion in the DSM-5, describes it as "a mental condition in which a child, usually one whose parents are engaged in a high conflict divorce, allies himself or herself strongly with one parent, and rejects a relationship with the other parent, without legitimate justification."

Recognising Parental Alienation

There is no doubt that an ugly divorce can affect kids' relationship with their parents or cause children to choose sides, often in anger. In fact, that probably happens more often than not.

But Bernet and others who argue for adding PAS to the new edition of DMS, the official catalogue of mental health, want to see it recognized as a legitimate mental health disorder because it will "spur health insurance coverage, stimulate more systematic research, lend credence to [the] charge of parental alienation in court, and raise the odds that children would get timely treatment."

In other words, they want to affix a name, some blame, and also a price tag on a broad range of child responses to a custody fight (some may be perfectly justified and some may not) in the hopes of expanding its use in court.

There are downsides to including PAS in the DSM. A minimum of three participants are needed to diagnose PAS therefore it looks less like a mental health disorder than an epidemic.

It assumes that one unbalanced person (the mother) brainwashes or unduly influences, a second unbalanced or suggestable person (the child) into telling lies about a third person (the father).

Simply because a number of parents have experienced the frustration of blocked visitation rights and unreturned phone calls, doesn't mean that this conduct is the result of a medical "syndrome."

Joan S. Meier, a professor of clinical law at George Washington University School of Law, has explained it this way:

"PAS is a label that offers a particular explanation for a breach in relationship between a child and parent, but insofar as that breach could be explained in other, more rational, ways, it is not in itself a medical or psychological diagnosis (a certainty) so much as a particular legal hypothesis."

Read more about PAS here

Why Mothers are not fully engaged by TV shows - a media concern

A TV media company recently conducted an interesting research with over 400 mothers who have children under the age of 12 living in their homes.

They found that:

• 75% of respondents watch certain TV shows with their children.
• 50% of respondents indicated that they’re likely to be doing other things while watching television with their children. (This could mean that although they are watching the program, they aren’t really engaging in it.)
• Women with very small children indicated that it was “impossible for anyone to watch anything on the TV when the kids are up.”
• Women with older children experienced phases of “family TV viewing” where they watched shows targeted to their kids’ age group between ages 4-7. (Shows selected by the children or chosen to entertain the children)
• Interestingly, as the kids get older, women become more engaged in the programming as they come to share favourite shows with their kids, such as “American Idol” and “Survivor.”
• The respondents indicated that ultimately they can only truly engage in what’s on the television when their children aren’t present. (This was a consistent response among all respondents regardless of the age of the children.)
• 81% of our survey respondents stated that they have “their shows” that they watch during what they deem to be their “me time.” This offers them an “escape” from the daily pressures of work and family.
• Women are also prone to “time-shifting” their preferred programming by recording their favourite shows or by visiting On Demand network websites, to re-watch shows or catch episodes they’ve missed.

What does this mean?

According to the research, if mothers are watching TV with their children they are not probably not engaging with the programs that their children are enjoying.

I think its easy to conclude that if they aren’t engaging with the programs, they are definitely not engaging with the commercials, which is more of a concern for the media ad sales people than the mothers.

My greatest concern in all this is that mothers, fathers and family members are not engaging with each other or their children, even if they appear to be sharing the experience of coming together, to form an 'audience' to watch a specific TV show.

Four Pebble Meditation Exercise for Mothers and Children

Here is a lovely meditation practice for children, and points out that many adults like it too.

He calls it “four pebble meditation” and here’s how to do it -

First, select and collect four pebbles and keep them in small bag.

Select them so that each pebble reminds you, in turn, of a flower, a mountain, still water and space.

Take the first pebble, the 'flower' pebble, in your left hand, close your eyes and say “I see myself as a flower. I feel fresh.” Try to picture yourself as a flower in a warm breeze.

Repeat three times, then lay the pebble down.

Take the next pebble, the 'mountain' pebble, in your left hand and say “I see myself as a mountain. I feel solid” Picture yourself as a mountain, strong, and unmoveable.

Repeat three times, then lay the pebble down. Put this pebble aside.

Take the 'water' pebble in your left hand, saying “I see myself as still water. I reflect things as they truly are.” Picture yourself as a pool of fresh calm water reflecting the trees and flowers at your side.

Repeat three times, then lay the pebble down. Put this pebble aside.

Take the last pebble. The 'space' pebble and say “I see myself as space. I feel free.” Picture yourself as the vastness of space, quiet and enveloping, moving out beyond the troubles of the world and the restriction of gravity.

Repeat three times, then lay the pebble down.