Confidence Building in Dyslexic Children

The following exercise has a beneficial effect on children with low self esteem, and should be carried out by a parent, or a teacher, together with the child, on a one-to-one basis (never in a group).

Explain to the child what you are doing and that it is not a 'test', you are simply going to show them how clever they really are.

Take a sheet of paper and make two columns: in one column put ‘Things I am good at’ and in the other ‘Things that I am not so good at’

• Things that I am good at
• Things that I am not so good at

Take about five or ten minutes to discuss with the child all the things that the child is successful with and write them down on the paper.

These will include such skills as swimming, sports, caring for pets, making a collection, dancing, drama, singing, art, painting, drawing, and so on.

In the ‘Not so good’ column let the child tell you the things like spelling and writing that he really finds hard. The list will look something like this, depending of course on each child’s interests:

• Things that I am good at
  • swimming
  • diving
  • looking after my pet
    
  • drawing
  • painting
  • collecting stamps
  • getting on well with other children
  • clearing the table
  • making people laugh
  • being friendly to grandparents
  • knowing about space, the planets and dinosaurs
    
  • etc.
  
  
• Things that I am not so good at
  • spelling
  • reading
  • writing
  • arithmetic or maths

The evidence is staring the child in the face: there are far more things that he is good at than things he has difficulties with. He can’t possibly be stupid. He is clearly a successful person.

Clearly, there will be some resistance. He may say that the things he is weak at are the things that matter in life. If you can’t spell, how can you pass exams and get a job?

At this point you have to discuss and expand the argument with your child. Ask them; ‘What do you value in people – because they are good at spelling? Unlikely.

We value people for all sorts of qualities, especially their ability to be friendly, get on with you, consider your needs, think of other people before themselves and so on.

It’s up to you to keep the discussion going until the child can really begin to see himself in a new light. When they see themselves as a successful person who just happens to have been born with a small difference that sounds like a handicap.

Dyslexia is predominantly a difference in perception, similar to being colour-blind. It’s not something they have control over. It's definitely not their fault and it’s not because they don’t try hard enough, despite what many teachers may have told them.

Seeing themself in a new light can be a major turning point for the child, whatever their age and this new-born self-confidence can lay the foundation and an open-ness or willingness to adopt a new view on learning.

Building Confidence and Self Esteem in Children

Rewarding Good Behaviour
Knowing how to build self-esteem in schildren is an important skill for all parents and teachers. Bolstering self-confidence in students who have learning disabilities (LD) is even more critical.

There are a wide array of parenting, coaching strategies and behaviour management tools to build self-esteem in children. One of the most succesful is 'positive re-enforcement', rewarding good behaviour with treats or simple fun objects i.e. providing rewards for completing quality work and for making wise social choices.

Rather than providing food or other tangible rewards, you will find that social reinforcers and recognition, such as acknowledging effort. Giving a special 'Well Done!' or granting a special privilege, are far more powerful and important to the students than treats.

Try hard to catch your children in the act of being good. If you remember nothing else, remember to try to acknowledge students for good effort, academic progress, and good choices as frequently as you can.

Providing Information
For older children, ones at middle school and high school students, you can tell them a bit more about how their brain works. As kids grow, their brains develop and allow them to understand more complex instruction. This helps them succeed with learning in areas they may have struggled with at a younger age.

Take time to explain the true meaning of "learning disabilities" to prevent kids from thinking of themselves as "dumb" or "stupid." If students with LD think they are stupid, they will invariably act stupidly, because they would rather be seen as "bad" than as "dumb."

Building Skills
Many older children are bright, and have already achieved a reasonable level of education, but they may still have a difficulty with reading. Many of them rely on sight reading and have little or no phonics skills.

Some so-called experts will say that you should give up trying to teach phonics after a certain age. However, phonics is such a useful tool to learn and one that leads to improved self-esteem, that persistance should be maintained.

In addition to teaching phonics to older students, show them how to look for what makes sense, using context and inference clues, which they might not have been able to do when they were younger. A simple, but useful, technique to show children is learning how to use the phonetic pronunciation guide in the dictionary. You will be surprised how many say "Why hasn't anyone shown me this before?"

Establishing Relationships
As you continue to develop as a parent and educator, you will come to realise the great importance of the parent-teacher-student relationship, no matter what the age of the student. When you establish a positive relationship with a child or students, they feel trust and look to you as a source of reassurance and information about themselves and the wider world.

Value Uniqueness
Motivation comes from the perception of the possibility of success. Always, or as often as is possible, let your children and students know they are special to you and that they are loved. Let them know that you recognise, appreciate and celebrate their uniqueness. Slowly but surely they will begin to believe success is possible, maybe for the first time in thier life.

Strategies to Build Self-Esteem

• Provide information about the brain and how students learn.
• Build skills - academic and social.
• Reward effort, performance, and good choices.
• Establish positive, trusting relationships with students.
• Value each student's uniqueness.

Further strategies to build self esteem and confidence in children ...........