Thursday, December 9, 2010

Parenting techniques: Releasing Anger

Shifting YOUR attitude and perceptions so that you can experience more joy and peace in your life.

Here are some techniques for rapidly diminishing anger in any situation:

1. Chi Gong Exercise for Releasing Anger:

Think of an issue that makes you feel angry. Stand with your feet shoulder width apart and your hands at your sides. Tuck in your pelvis and slightly bend your knees, as if you were sitting on an imaginary tall stool behind you.

As you breathe in, slowly bring your hands up at your sides to the level of your shoulders with your arms straight and as you reach the height of your shoulders, turn your palms upward facing the sky.

Then continue to raise your arms, bringing your hands over your head. Make a fist with each hand. While making a loud 'Tchu' or 'Chew' sound, forcefully exhale while rapidly bringing down your arms all the way to thigh level and opening your fists, flinging and releasing the angry energy into the earth.

Feel the tension releasing from your muscles as you perform this manoeuvre. Repeat this motion at least 3 more times or until you feel the anger completely released.

2. Ceremonial Anger Release:
Write down on a piece of paper the issue that is creating anger or resentment for you. This may be in a form of a letter to the person with whom you have the issue or may just be your own angry thoughts that you are feeling.

We present three ways of performing this ceremonial release. You may, of course, create your own ceremony that feels appropriate for you.

  • 1) The first ceremony involves tying your note to a helium balloon and releasing the note into the air to be carried away.
    • NB: Make certain that you have no identifying information on the note that you have written if you choose to use this method as the balloon will inevitably pop once it reaches a high altitude and your note may return to the earth several miles away. (You do not want your anger returned to you)
  • 2) The second ritual involves burying your note in the ground to allow the anger to be released and transformed by the earth.
  • 3) The third way of transforming anger is performed by burning your note outside in a ceremonial fire or in a fireplace. 
    • NB: Make sure to contain your ceremonial fire in a safe manner; never leave a fire untended, and make certain you have water, sand, or a fire extinguisher to put the fire out when you are finished with your ceremony. (Avoid anger spreading with the fire)

3. The ‘La Cucaracha’ Technique:
If you have to be around a person that you harbour anger towards and you are not yet ready to transform the anger or resentment, then this technique may be helpful to you.

Picture the person as a giant cockroach. Although this may sound a little bizarre, it can really work because a cockroach is completely predictable; it will come out in the dark and runs to hide when the light is on. It is the nature of the creature.

We do not get angry at a cockroach for not coming out when the lights are on because we understand its nature and motivation.

If you think about someone who repeatedly annoys you, their behaviours are also predictable after a while. The circumstances may change but the overall pattern remains stable over time.

Consider that person to be like a cockroach; or, for those of you squeamish about cockroaches, like an ant or another insect.

Now, think of the person you are harbouring anger towards and see them as if they are a giant ant or cockroach wearing human clothes, with their antennae bobbing around on the top of their head and their little insect arms dangling off their sides.

If you picture this image when you are around the person in question, then you will become less fixated on their behaviours and will not take what they say or do seriously or personally.

Sometimes it can help to hum softly under your breath, “La cucaracha, La cucaracha”. The Spanish term for cockroach is ‘cucaracha’.

You will definitely be more relaxed towards the person angering you, your self, and the situation in general if you use this technique.

NB: You should always remove your self from any abusive situation. This would not be an appropriate means of dealing with someone who is physically or emotionally abusive towards you.

I trust this information helps you get a better perspective on yourself, your own anger and on situations that cause you to become angry.

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