Are You Helping or Hurting Your Child’s Self-Esteem?

What does it take to raise competent, good-natured children who can feel a healthy respect for themselves?

Research has shown over and over that good parenting involves two basic components. One will not surprise you, but the other one may catch you off guard.

We are very aware today that children develop different, independent personalities and temperaments. Although they are genetically connected and influenced, they are not fully formed by their parents.

Nevertheless, parents need to get back on track regarding what children’s self-esteem is really all about.

What are the parenting ingredients that make for good self-esteem? 
First, good parents are;

• warm and sensitive to a child’s needs. 
• understanding of their child’s positive as well as negative feelings. 
• comforting in times of crisis and pain, as well as appreciative in times of triumph. 
• willing to recognise and celebrate accomplishments. 
• supportive of a child’s individuality and 
• encouraging of his or her child's growing independence.

Good Parents are Also Demanding (Fair and Disciplined)
What we often overlook, though, is that good parents are also demanding. Also known as being fair and disciplined, but not punitive.

NOT Recommended

They clearly communicate high expectations for their children’s behaviour but must realise and accept that their expectations may not be realistic.

Good parents recognise good behaviour and achievements, and ensure that these behaviours are appreciated and reinforced when they occur.

On the other side, when the kids act up Mum and Dad respond with firm and fair limits. It is vital that any corrective response is not delivered with fits of temper or righteous indignation.

After a child makes a mistake, the parents’ message is, “I understand your reasons for doing that but it was wrong, selfish or poorly thought out and I’m sure you know that and will do better next time.”

Parents whose child-rearing philosophy involves both warmth and “discipline” tend to produce competent and balanced children.

There are of course no guarantees, but children will have a better chance of becoming more self-reliant, self-controlled and happier.

They will have a better chance of being accepted and well-liked by their peers, and of having a real sense of belonging and participation.

Sometimes parents are distracted or have blinkers on. We’re busy, we don’t have, or take the time to do some of the things that will really foster self-esteem and help our children develop social skills as well as academic and physical competence.

Remember that your childrens’ self-esteem is ultimately going to be earned or not earned in the real world not in a cosseted family home or an imagined, over-romantic fantasy world.

Children Learn Better When They Have Known Boundaries
The demanding, disciplined part of the parenting equation implies not only that parents ask more of their children, but also that parents ask more of themselves.

Parents often doggedly follow the misguided belief that self-esteem and creativity are both higher when children can ‘do their own thing’ and when they are not exposed to external limits imposed by adults, but this can also be an excuse for not taking full parental responsibility for monitoring and managing childrens' actions.

Building the Berlin Wall

Children feel better about themselves, are more secure and perform better, creatively and otherwise, when they learn the boundaries for reasonable behaviour.

The world has all kinds of limits and rules, not all of which are known or recognised by children and parents are the ones who introduce and guide children through life’s boundaries.

How parents establish rules and set limits (or avoid /fail to set limits) has a tremendous effect on the self-esteem of a child.

Your kids will not like all the rules and regulations that you or the world imposes, but if they don’t recognize and work within these constraints, they will face disappointment and will get hurt repeatedly (more often mentally than physically) and sometimes the consequences will be severe (life changing).

However, not all self-esteem building strategies should be unpleasant or focus on hard, repetitive work.

One of the best “tactics” for encouraging healthy self-respect in children is FUN! 

We need to take time with our kids and we need to enjoy taking time with our children.

Keep in mind that one-on-one, face-to-face time and having fun together is one of the most potent self-esteem builders.

This means that one parent spends time with one child. Clearly, this will need organising if you have more than 1, 2 or more children.

Also, you cannot allow the excuse of 'work pressure' to stop or avoid this happening.

Busy people need good planning and busy people should Plan to spend time with your children! 

Children really like having a parent all to themselves. It makes them feel all the important feelings you want them to feel; loved, important, worthy, cherished, contented, etc.

Your Relationship With Your Child, require that parents be supportive and nurturing while at the same time they are expecting constructive behaviour as well as hard work from their kids.

Gesturing with hands is a powerful tool for children's learning

A recent study from the University of Chicago's Department of Psychology showed that use of abstract gestures is a powerful tool for helping children understand and generalize mathematical concepts. 

Credit: Goldin-Meadow Lab

Children who use their hands to gesture during a math lesson gain a deep understanding of the problems they are taught, according to new research from University of Chicago's Department of Psychology.

Previous research has found that gestures can help children learn. This study in particular was designed to answer whether abstract gesture can support generalization beyond a particular problem and whether abstract gesture is a more effective teaching tool than concrete action.

"We found that acting gave children a relatively shallow understanding of a novel math concept, whereas gesturing led to deeper and more flexible learning," explained the study's lead author, Miriam A. Novack, a PhD student in psychology.

The study, "From action to abstraction: Using the hands to learn math," is published online by Psychological Science.

The researchers taught third-grade children a strategy for solving one type of mathematical equivalence problem, for example, 4 + 2 + 6 = ____ + 6.

They then tested the students on similar mathematical equivalence problems to determine how well they understood the underlying principle.

The researchers randomly assigned 90 children to conditions in which they learned using different kinds of physical interaction with the material.

In one group, children picked up magnetic number tiles and put them in the proper place in the formula.

For example, for the problem 4 + 2 + 6 = ___ + 6, they picked up the 4 and 2 and placed them on a magnetic whiteboard.

Another group mimed that action without actually touching the tiles, and a third group was taught to use abstract gestures with their hands to solve the equations.

In the abstract gesture group, children were taught to produce a V-point gesture with their fingers under two of the numbers, metaphorically grouping them, followed by pointing a finger at the blank in the equation.

The children were tested before and after solving each problem in the lesson, including problems that required children to generalize beyond what they had learned in grouping the numbers.

For example, they were given problems that were similar to the original one, but had different numbers on both sides of the equation.

Children in all three groups learned the problems they had been taught during the lesson. But only children who gestured during the lesson were successful on the generalization problems.

Susan Goldin-Meadow

"Abstract gesture was most effective in encouraging learners to generalize the knowledge they had gained during instruction, action least effective, and concrete gesture somewhere in between," said senior author Susan Goldin-Meadow, the Beardsley Ruml Distinguished Service Professor in Psychology.

"Our findings provide the first evidence that gesture not only supports learning a task at hand but, more importantly, leads to generalization beyond the task."

"Children appear to learn underlying principles from their actions only insofar as those actions can be interpreted symbolically."

More information: Miriam A. Novack, Eliza L. Congdon, Naureen Hemani-Lopez, and Susan Goldin-Meadow. "From Action to Abstraction: Using the Hands to Learn Math." Psychological Science 0956797613518351, first published on February 6, 2014 DOI: 10.1177/0956797613518351

Dyslexia: UK Charity teaches prisoners how to read and write

Patron: Rebecca Harris MP

A PIONEERING scheme aimed at cutting reoffending rates in prisons has been hailed as a success.

UK charity The Cascade Foundation has been carrying out a three-month pilot project in Doncaster Prison to provide education for inmates with dyslexia-related learning difficulties.

The charity teaches offenders basic literacy skills and diagnoses those suffering with learning difficulties.

It is hoped the work will stop prisoners reverting back to a life of crime and provide the skills to keep them on the straight and narrow.

The charity was set up by campaigner Jackie Hewitt-Main in her home in Kents Kill Road, alongside Benfleet councillor Andrew Sheldon and Chelmsford resident Karen Osman.

Ms Hewitt-Main said: “A large number of offenders in British prisons have learning difficulties. If offenders haven’t learned to read and write by the time they finish their sentence, they have little hope of properly interacting with society, getting a job and staying on the straight and narrow.

“We are taking them out of the traditional prison classroom environment with our teaching and setting up a support network of mentors amongst the offenders themselves to give them these skills and get them one step closer to rehabilitation.

Castle Point MP Rebecca Harris, who is dyslexic herself and a founding patron of the charity, added: “I am very proud to be a patron of the Cascade Foundation and it was great to travel up to Doncaster to see first-hand how their efforts are changing the lives of these offenders and through education, cut the chances of them committing further crimes.”

Learn basic facts about dyslexia, dyscalculia, dysgraphia and ADHD - Video

Learn basic facts about dyslexia, dyscalculia, dysgraphia and ADHD and visit LD.org for resources on how to get the most out of your relationship with your child's doctor.

Credit for video goes to the National Center for Learning Disabilities

Dyslexia: Is it time to rethink or examine the diagnosis?

Some years ago, a student informed me that she was encountering a problem with my classes.

When asked to explain a little further, she told me that she had been diagnosed as dyslexic.

I asked if she could be a little more specific about the particular difficulties she was encountering.

Responding, “I can’t understand what you are talking about”, she explained that the ideas I was expressing were complex and she found them difficult to grasp.

I enquired how I might help her with this problem. She replied that she would welcome a single sheet of A4 for each lecture containing a set of bullet points that summarised the key points.

This anecdote exemplifies some of the confusion that surrounds “dyslexia”, a term used to describe a variety of problems. Researchers tend to describe as dyslexic all those who struggle to decode text.

Others, often clinicians, argue that only some poor decoders are dyslexic. Still others contend that decoding difficulty is but one part of a much broader dyslexic condition.

It is hardly surprising, therefore, that diagnosis is deemed to be highly subjective and lacking in scientific rigour. 

While special tests and symptom profiles are commonly used, there is no means of making a consistent and meaningful judgement.

As the list of so-called signs and symptoms is lengthy, most people reporting reading difficulties will demonstrate some of them.

Many such symptoms are found in good readers, and those diagnosed as dyslexic often differ substantially from one another.

Many clinicians still employ IQ tests as a basis for diagnosis, even though this practice has been discreditted and no longer has any scientific support.

Meanwhile, research studies in neuroscience and genetics, often used by proponents to justify the dyslexia construct, are typically conducted with poor decoders (not a so-called dyslexic subgroup), and currently offer no additional diagnostic information.

The key problem is that dyslexia diagnoses have moved far away from their original focus (severe reading difficulty) to incorporate an ever-increasing range of cognitive and self-regulatory deficits including poor working memory, processing speed limitations, attention/concentration problems, difficulties in analysing and synthesising complex information, and in organising and expressing ideas.

For any students who struggle to cope with academic demands for such reasons, there are obvious equity issues within our highly competitive higher education sector between those who are diagnosed dyslexic and those who are not and, instead, are considered to be academically weaker performers.

Read the full article here

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Thirty percent of adults with ADHD report childhood physical abuse

Thirty percent of adults with Attention Deficit Disorder or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADD/ADHD) report they were physically abused before they turned 18.

This compares to seven per cent of those without ADD/ADHD who were physically abused before 18. The results were in a study published in this week's online Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment, and Trauma.

"This strong association between abuse and ADD/ADHD was not explained by differences in demographic characteristics or other early adversities experienced by those who had been abused," says lead author Esme Fuller-Thomson, Professor and Sandra Rotman Chair at University of Toronto's Factor-Inwentash Faculty of Social Work.

"Even after adjusting for different factors, those who reported being physically abused before age 18 had seven times the odds of ADD/ADHD."

Investigators examined a representative sample of 13,054 adults aged 18 and over in the 2005 Canadian Community Health Survey including 1,020 respondents who reported childhood physical abuse and 64 respondents who reported that they had been diagnosed by a health professional with either ADHD or ADD.

"Our data do not allow us to know the direction of the association. It is possible that the behaviors of children with ADD/ADHD increase parental stress and the likelihood of abuse," says co-author Rukshan Mehta, a graduate of the University of Toronto's Master of Social Work program.

"Alternatively, some new literature suggests early childhood abuse may result in and/or exacerbate the risk of ADD/ADHD."

According to co-author Angela Valeo from Ryerson University, "This study underlines the importance of ADD/ADHD as a marker of abuse.

With 30 per cent of adults with ADD/ADHD reporting childhood abuse, it is important that health professionals working with children with these disorders screen them for physical abuse."

More information: "Establishing a Link Between Attention Deficit Disorder/Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and Childhood Physical Abuse." Esme Fuller-Thomsona*, Rukshan Mehtaa & Angela Valeob. Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma. Volume 23, Issue 2, 2014 pages 188-198. DOI: 10.1080/10926771.2014.873510

Don't suffer from Dyslexia

Credit: LearningAlly.org

New guidelines employ a team approach to autism diagnosis and care

Fred Volkmar

Improving diagnosis and treatment for individuals with autism has been the focus of a growing body of research. 

New information from these studies led the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) to revise key parameters for evaluating and treating autism. 

Researchers led by Yale Child Study Center director Dr. Fred Volkmar have published the new practice parameters in the Feb. issue of the Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry.

"Early diagnosis of children with autism spectrum disorders means treatments will be introduced that lead to more positive outcomes for children," said Volkmar the Irving B. Harris Professor of Psychiatry, Pediatrics, and Psychology at the Yale School of Medicine.

According to the parameters, clinicians should routinely look for symptoms of autism spectrum disorder in young children undergoing developmental assessments, and in all psychiatric evaluations.

If significant symptoms are detected, clinicians should then coordinate a careful medical, psychological, and communication evaluation.

These evaluations should differentiate between autism and a variety of developmental and other disorders, as well as intellectual and behavioral disabilities.

"Our goal was advocacy for individuals with autism and their families, and to ensure that services are coordinated across clinical care," said Volkmar.

"Our field is changing rapidly, and these parameters are meant to promote effective care and move professional medical methods closer to current practices."

Volkmar and his co-authors reviewed abstracts from 9,481 research articles on autism that were published between 1991 and 2013.

They then fully studied 186 of those articles based on their quality and ability to be applied more generally.

"Treatment should involve a team approach," said Volkmar, who notes that under these treatment parameters, psychiatrists will closely coordinate diagnosis and treatment with teachers, behavioural psychologists, and speech and language pathologists, and look for commonly occurring conditions.

A key addition to the new parameters is a focus on how clinicians should address the use of non-traditional therapies, like chelation and secretin.

Clinicians are urged to ask families if they are using alternative/complementary treatments and to discuss the therapies' risks and potential benefits.

Volkmar estimates that about 90% of parents of children with autism use some kind of alternative or complementary therapies.

"It is important to encourage a discussion with parents about the potential harms of some of these therapies, as well as to educate them about evidence that supports what they're doing."

More information: Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry: www.jaacap.com/article/S0890-8567(13)00819-8/fulltext

Dyslexia: Ranking the effectiveness of a range of interventions

How can we best treat dyslexia? 

A new meta-analysis of published data, carried out by researchers at Ludwig Maximilian University of Munich (LMU), now provides a means of ranking the effectiveness of a range of current interventions.

Gerd Schulte-Körne

A research group led by Professor Gerd Schulte-Körne, Director of the Clinic of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at LMU Munich, has systematically evaluated data from published randomized controlled treatment studies of dyslexia.

The results of their investigation were recently been published in the online journal PLoS One.

The term dyslexia refers to a specific difficulty in learning to read and spell. It affects 5-10% of school children and although it is one of the most common learning disorders of childhood and adolescence, it also affects adults.

Indeed, the condition is often diagnosed relatively late. "Up to 40% of children who show signs of dyslexia also have psychological problems, which often result from discrimination provoked by their learning difficulties.

They are often confronted with comments such as: 'You're just too lazy' or 'You have to work harder'", says Prof. Schulte-Körne.

Furthermore, affected children and their families are often left to cope with the problem on their own, because nobody is responsible for providing support for them beyond the confines of the classroom.

Many popular 'therapies' are, at best, ineffective and some are downright bogus.

"Early intervention and appropriate therapeutic measures that take into account the specific nature of each individual case are urgently needed", says Prof. Schulte-Körne, pointing out that the curriculum offered in normal schools is often insufficient in helping children with severe dyslexia to overcome their disability.

"These children do not receive the necessary attention because school resources are inadequate and teachers are not sufficiently well trained to deal with the problem."

Katharina Galuschka

"More than 20 different 'treatment' methods have been developed which purport to help dyslexic children but in fact very few of them have any real effect," says Katharina Galuschka, who carried out the meta-analysis.

"Systematic training of the very basic process of relating the sound of a word to its orthographic form turns out to be particularly important."

The new study also shows that long-term interventions are significantly more effective than short-term training measures.

In addition, the study reveals that many popular methods which concentrate on single factors such as enhancing visual scanning of text, or improving auditory perception, are ineffective.

"Cognition-enhancing medication or the use of tinted lenses are also unable to improve the reading ability of dyslexic subjects."

"This the first meta-analysis of its kind and it provides a basis for formulating urgently needed guidelines for dyslexia treatment and therapy", Prof. Schulte-Körne explains.

He and his research group are now coordinating a set of medical guidelines for the treatment of dyslexia in Germany, due to be released shortly.

More information: Galuschka K, Ise E, Krick K, Schulte-Körne G (2014) "Effectiveness of Treatment Approaches for Children and Adolescents with Reading Disabilities: A Meta-Analysis of Randomized Controlled Trials." PLoS ONE 9(2): e89900. DOI: 10.1371/journal.pone.0089900